i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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