I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize