Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize