happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
