I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
