After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize