What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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