I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
