Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
