do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
