who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize