Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
