Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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