I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
