woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
