there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
