Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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