so that wasnt chicken after all
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
