i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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