I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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