Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
