We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
