Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you made out with another girl for some wings
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize