FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
