Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
