My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
