She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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