We won't sleep together?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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