I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
