You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
