he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
