she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
