I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
