We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
