i just had sex bonerless
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
