Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
