Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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