So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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