just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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