Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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