Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
