Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
