Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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