I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
