Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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