He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
