i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
