i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
