I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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