Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
