I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
