Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
