Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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