i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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