yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
