Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
