Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
