It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
