I must be too annoying 4 u.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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