He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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