You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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