you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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