I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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