I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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