thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
